Palenque

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The Mexican Chiapas region is known for its protests and road blocks. If people wouldn’t have told me that I would have figured it out sooner or later anyway, as I ran into an impressive number of three road blocks on the relatively short way from San Cristobal De Las Casas to Palenque. For budget reasons I decided to boycott the ADO ‘tourist bus’ company, which in retrospective would have been a good decision for everyone. Reason: The protesting transport companies block all access for their competitors’ vehicles, which means you have to get out of the bus, walk past the blockade and take another vehicle of the protesting company to the next road block and so on… If you already paid your ticket for ADO you can either wait for like 8 hours until the block is cleared, or pay the entire journey all over again in order to use their competitors’ vehicles. Don’t expect any help from the police or army in this (or any) case, they are all over the place but as usual don’t have any willpower or sense of justice of their own: They obey the wishes of a power system in which responsibility is shuffled around until it disappears somewhere… and history taught us what happens then: Genocides, killing and torturing of citizens purely based on their political beliefs, power abuse… Okay, drifting off, just don’t expect any back-up from governmental institutions alright? Especially not Mexican ones. Just roll with the shit that comes with this beautiful country.

After way too many hours of travelling and hitchhiking here and there I finally drove into the tiny little centre of Palenque, which had the looks of a place pumped out of the ground to serve the needs of the ruins-seeking crowd. It’s not, as Palenque ‘town’ existed far before the discovery of the ruins, but I guess new migration now only happens in order to exploit tourism opportunities.

Nevertheless, the place is cheaper AF: For less than a dollar you have a street meal, and if you want to sit down in a bit of a western place you pay it off with a $1,50-3 meal. Interested I studied all the local dishes I had yet to familiarize myself with…

I present to you: A non-alphabetical, most probably dramatically incomplete list of all the fried to shit, corn-beans-meat-loaded, fat-dripping but I guess delicious non-cuisine our Meggggicanos have to offer us:

Tacos: Of course. Although what you think are tacos are not tacos at all. Here it’s a soft corn tortilla (mini-wrap) with any kind of shredded meat (or sometimes seafood) you can think of, topped with lettuce and cream. The crunchy ones are called ‘tacos dorados’, but are not served in the shell-shape you might know from home. Basically, they are exactly the same as ‘tostadas’... yeah, keep on reading.
Guacamole: Another classic, the exquisite avocado dip, better than anywhere else in the world (okay, maybe Peru can compete with it). Served with fresh-fried corn chips. Thank you mother of jesus, said the atheist.

Tamales: Corn dough stuffed with meat or cheese and veggies, wrapped in a banana leaf and steamed subsequently. It can be compared a bit with polenta. In my opinion it tastes like warmed up cat puke.
Mollete: Toasted bread roll topped with beans & cheese.
Marquesitas: A crepe rolled around shredded (DUTCH!) Edam cheese and condensed milk, hardened like an iceream cone. Topped with nutella, if you wish.
Churros: Got some worldwide fame in the meantime… Deep-fried sweetness coated with some extra sugar. Because fuck New Year’s resolutions.
Cochinita pibil: Breakfast (!) of pork roasted in sour orange juice, served with tacos or tortas.
Tostadas: Fried corn tortillas topped with beans, meat, lettuce, cheese and cream.
Camote: Sweet potato, topped with some sweetness serving as dessert.
Flautas: Corn tortilla rolls filled with chicken, pork or potato and then deep-fried. Served topped with cream, cheese and lettuce.
Nachos: An international classic. Corn chips topped with any kind of meat, any kind of vegetable and any kind of sauce you could possibly think of. The choices are endless here.
Fajitas: Mini wraps filled with meat and vegetables, topped with cheese, cream and sauce.
Gringas: I honestly don’t see any difference with the fajita, besides the fact that the tortilla is served open instead of closed. It has veggies, cheese and meat if you want. It’s translated as ‘American women’.
Volcancitos: Corn dough filled with beans, then fried to shit.

Panuchos: Corn dough filled with beans, deep-fried and topped with the inevitable meat, cheese, cream and lettuce.
Gorditas: Literally: Fat women. Thick corn dough patties filled with anything the vendor can think of.
Tampiquena: Grilled steak served with enchiladas and beans.
Salbutes: Deep-fried dough topped with meat, lettuce, cream and cheese.
Empanadas: Deep-fried pastry filled with any meat, vegetables and potato. In Mexico it has the size of a pizza calzone.
Quesadillas: Queso… cheese. Folded tortilla with melted cheese inside. Mostly they stuff some meat in too, like the Mexicans do with basically everything.
Sincronizadas: Basically the same as quesadillas, but now they throw ham in it too.
Enchilladas: Fried corn tortillas soaked in sauce, filled with meat or cheese and rolled. The rolls are then covered with more sauce, cheese, cream and lettuce.
Burrito: The famous dish that spread all over the world which even my mom served with a mundane regularity (prepared via a do-it-yourself-meal-box)… In Mexico it’s all of that, but waaaaaay tastier and served with a chilisauce that instantly melts your tongue away.
Enfrijoladas: More deep-fried stuff with beans, frijoles. Let’s just make 15 names for it to keep it easy.
Chalupas / Huaraches: A salbute, but they fry the dough a bit longer so it’s tough and crunchy.
Elote: An entire corn on a stick, so you eat it like cotton candy or a giant lollypop. To make the healthy unhealthy they smear it full with six layers of butter and mayonnaise.

Esquites: A cup with corn, topped with cream, cheese, lime and a layer of chili. It’s awesome.
Tortas / Cemitas / Molotes / Pambazos / Empalmes: All sandwiches. Mostly with cheese and a lot of meat. Why the different names? Hm, maybe a classic example of bully-the-tourist.
Huevos Rancheros: Breakfast dish of tortillas topped with fried eggs and covered in red sauce (and chili). Huevos Mexicanos have tomatoes, onions and chaya, which supposedly represents the colours of the Mexican flag.
Nopales: Cooked slices of cactus paddle. How Mexican can it get? Gotta try this.
Fruit with chili: Yes… it came this far. For less than 50 cents you can buy yourself a bag with half a kilo of fruits… with chili. It’s the weirdest taste combination I might have ever experienced, but I vote ‘yes’.
Papadzules: A Yucatan classic… NON-FRIED (wow) corn tortillas filled with hard-boiled eggs and pumpkin seed sauce. I ate them and instantly orgasmed. My unassailable favourite!

… Everything served with the hottest chilisauce you ever ate in your life, level ‘bushfire’. You can cool your mouth with a fresh cup of toothbreaking sweet Tamarindo, Jamaica or Horchata…

In short, only 10% of it I can really try with the vegan Gestapo travelling with me. #fml. I must find a way to fabricate it without the meat and cheese inside, getting creative.

The ruins that were the sole reason for my visit weren’t expensive either, opposed to for example their Guatemalan counterpart (Tikal). They’re even free on Sundays… not for me of course, only locals enjoy that privilege. They do try to make you pay extra for making photos, but I can guarantee you know one ever checks if you did… and if they do, I always have my secret weapon: speaking solely Dutch all of a sudden. It’s amazing, people tend to completely freak out. First they will try to speak Spanish to you louder, like that would awaken your brain all of a sudden. Then they roam the environment for an English-speaking person, who in broken English tries to explain the intentions. The magical key is to keep on replying in Dutch, speaking as fast and using as many ‘GGGG’s as possible until at some point they dramatically give up and let you do whatever. It’s difficult, because I speak both English and Spanish and your mind tends to automatically switch to it or show signs of comprehension, but once you’ve got the skill down it’s really entertaining:

Incredible how rude people can be when they think you don’t understand what they are saying, a unique insight in the human species.

The place itself is a gem. Even after being quite ruined out I could greatly appreciate the excellent maintained Maya remains. Even the original paint can be detected on some stone pieces! You can enter the pyramids to check out the grave tombs from up close. The most famous piece, the Knich Janaab Pakal, is for preservation reasons not available for the public eye, but an exact copy is exposed in the museum. The image seems to display the scene of the deceased Pakal resurrecting to the gods in the afterlife, although many sci-fi maniacs believe it represents proof of the Maya king being launched in a space ship. Yes, there is a conspiracy theory supporting the Mayas being aliens. Why not. I guess everyone has their beliefs and as I can’t proof it’s not true we leave it in the middle.

There were other excursions to cheaply undertake: The Misol-Ha waterfall and the Semuc-Champey-like brightly blue coloured Agua Azul. Unfortunately both the weather and my health didn’t permit any of this. I spent my time vomiting myself through the nights (my food poisoning aftermath) and my travel buddy had some fever-snot-attacks after his lungs got infected. Life cannot always be supportive, but luckily the Couchsurfing-network is. Doctor Fernando hospitably offered me a private studio and spent his nights entertaining me with his presence.

If Mexico isn’t already beautiful by itself, its people provide the extra sparkle.

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