Antigua

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Everyone single tourist setting one foot in Guatemala goes to Antigua, so there must be something, right? While I explored every corner of Belize, the northern side of Guatemala and El Salvador by myself, my (back-then-)boyfriend settled down in the country’s ultimate tourist hole. He didn’t know he would be stuck here for two months, as that is apparently what this place does to people. Easy for me, as I could use Antigua as a base in between trips and freely sleep in the hostel where he was volunteering in exchange for accommodation.

While there, I took my time to explore a few of the many attractions and activities this place has to offer, either naturally or resurrected out of the nothingness to attract some extra tourist money.

I was completely overwhelmed with the options, there's just too much to do.

I mentally crossed off everything I already did on this trip, which is a lot: Coffee farms, chocolate tours, cooking courses and food tours, quad driving, adventure sports like ziplining / canyoning / rafting / mountainbiking / tubing and visiting a million and one churches. What was left were things I also had already done, more than anything else, but just can't get enough of: art and hiking.

I started with the #1 on TripAdvisor, Casa de Santo Domingo: A place where I could have stayed if I had (the willingness to spend) money. In my situation I just paid 42 quetzales ($6) to visit this 5* hotel’s beautiful museums. Later I noticed I could have seen it all for free, as you can visit the church ruins and courtyard without paying and at the museums no one checks your ticket. They should, but they don't, so good for us.

Anyway, as I did pay I owe you a description of my experiences: My favourite art collection was actually a free exposition at the entrance, created by a local art collective colourfully representing Guatemala's local street life. The images embody every emotion this country invokes in me: I was genuinely impressed.

After I wandered through the stunning courtyard filled up with the loud voices of many brightly colored parrots, I entered the first museum: some silverware collection. I wasn't blown off my feet. Why would I want to be confronted with the greed and money-waste of the leaders of the Catholic Church? Spending money on the purest silver while they could have spent that on what they're supposed to do: feed the poor and help the people. The same feeling of nausea and incomprehension overwhelmed me in the Museum of Colonial Art. How much resources and gold those 'divine leaders’ put in the artwork representing the person (or spirit) that taught them to be humble? How wrong can you interpret such a clear and easy message?

Okay, time to visit some dead people! There are two different underground crypts, housing the bones of some noble corpses. I missed out on Halloween this year, but got back something way better. I for sure felt chills running down my spine standing alone in this blobbed group coffin.

I witnessed some more Maya stuff presented next to some modern artistic interpretations at the Pre-Colombian and Glass Art Museum and walked on to a big exhibition of national hero: Painter Mena. This guy is either a sex addict or suffered a lack of it, as his entire work is one nude circus. I never saw so many painted dicks, vags and tits in one room. Not sure what it tells about me if I say I enjoyed this exhibition. As I was there anyway I also visited the Pharmacy Museum and an exhibition about local Maya toys, to be quite museumed-out at the end. I had a great day.

Strolling around town I noticed the bright side of Gringoland: Good coffee and good bread. Hallelujah. These Latinos are good in many things (dancing, weaving) but they have no clue how to brew a decent cup of coffee or bake bread without using butter and five kilos of sugar. That's where the expats come in. With tears in my eyes out of happiness I made it a sport to drink coffee in as many coffee bars possible (to check off all is impossible, there are simply too many here). My score so far: El Portal (above average), El Viejo Café (amazing), Fat Cat (slightly disappointing) and Refuge Coffee (satisfying, but a bit too sweet). Amazing bread I found at Isopan (a.k.a. Shangri-La of bread), Delicias de Natura and Pane E Fantasia.

As said, hiking I did too. As a little warm-up, I walked the easy steps up to the Cerro La Cruz. Exactly, a look-out point with a cross. The view is outstanding and even if they could have charged an entry price they didn't, which makes it a budget backpacker highlight.

An alternative to that is Cerro San Cristobal El Alto, to which you can also take a Q10 minibus from the Arc.

When it comes to hiking though, THE tour of Antigua is the tough overnight hike up to the active Acatenango volcano. The pictures promised a stunning journey. That I didn't take. There were a few objections that kept me from booking it. 1) It's freezing cold up there and I only have tropical clothes and one hoodie. Having climbed the even higher Barú volcano in Panamá where I was wearing six layers and ski-pants I know that won't do. Which brings me to 2) I climbed about 15-20 volcanoes all over the world, of which 80% the past 1,5 year... How is this one going to be such an earthquaking difference that it's worth the 40 bucks + the clothes I have to buy/rent? 3) The boyfriend just got struck with chicungunya and is bed-bound. Even though I can have a blast alone, I try not to be the abandoning type (although I tend to do that quite often with basically everyone... the price of independence?).

Nevertheless, I couldn't help but regret not going, especially because my fresh travelling Facebook-friends kept bombing me with gorgeous photos. So I decided to make it up with Pacaya, the active volcano next to Antigua that had its last devastating eruption in 2010.

This appeared to be an excellent decision. I made an exception this time and went with a tour, as that actually turned out to be cheaper (guide is obligated). At 6AM I got crammed into a minibus, which is unfortunately too late for sunrise. One hour later we arrived at the natural wonder, which is actually not unique in its sort. In fact, from where we were standing we had an outstanding view on all four volcanoes surrounding Antigua: Agua, Acatenango, Pacaya where we were standing on and El Fuego, the fire. Well-picked name as that's actually the continuously erupting one. From any rooftop in Antigua you can see this fella spitting out lava with a 15-minute-interval, an enchanting sight: You literally see the red lava floating -down the peak. Now during the day I witnessed it coughing up thick plumes of smoke.

Our guide started a speech promoting the horses rented out by some young boys, stating this is the only source of income for the poor villages victimized by the last eruption, fading away all houses. I have two things to say to that:

Kind of an obvious risk if you decide to built your house right next to four volcanoes
If you think exploiting horses by chasing them up and down a steep volcano 24/7, carrying overweight tourists (because it aren’t the fit ones that use that service), is your only source of employment, you lack a serious amount of creativity. What about the excellent fertile ground the volcanic ashes provide, to name an obvious alternative?

Anyway, once the fatties and the smokers had installed their ass in the saddle the climb could start.

Always nice to get confirmed that your physical condition is really not that bad as you think: I found the walk up very easy and doable, with plenty of time to admire the stunning look-outs as I continuously had to wait for my exhausted and panting group members. Unfortunately we couldn't get to the crater, which was a bit of a disappointment... but then again, so is being roasted by the spitting lava.

They offered a good alternative though: Melting marshmallows above the lava and volcanic rocks.

Yes, it's ok to be jealous, because that was really amazing and you indeed missed out. A satisfying morning in Antigua.

They said Antigua is a city where you stick around, always overstaying the amount of time planned. Now I never plan anything, but having stayed here (added up) for about three weeks I can positively confirm this hypothesis. I celebrated both Christmas Eve and New Years' in this enchanting town … watching Volcán Fuego spit out its mesmerizing stream of shimmering red fire.

Life can be generous sometimes.

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