Monaco

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We’re friends right, so let’s talk in pure and fair honesty with one another… on paper, there is zero appeal to Monaco when it comes to my personal taste, besides it just being there as a separate inimini-country to check off the list. Which is indeed the only reason I went. I mean, in theory it’s nothing more but a cramped space forming a public race track (I couldn’t care less about cars), casino’s all over (I never understood the appeal of gambling) and plastic, rich people frantically searching for pointless ways to blow their money on all but taxes (come one, my blog’s called Budget Bucket List). A loud, congested area which is tightly planned, man-made and densely populated resulting in a seemingly never-ending traffic jam slithering forward under a skyline of cranes.

It is however exactly that ridiculous tininess of Monaco that lured me in… with 2.02 km² only beaten by the Vatican (a 0.44 km² political/religious institution within Rome that in order to do whatever the fuck they want in absolute dictatorial liberty ridiculously proclaimed itself ‘a country’ to avoid any form of prosecution). The whole concept of tiny Monaco made me wonder

what else can be squeezed into those lousy 2.02 km²

besides billion-bucks-mansions and money-laundering-yachts? What’s hiding behind those modern facades and plastic faces?

Only one way to find out, if you happen to be me: hike the shit out of it. Leave it to the self-proclaimed hiking wizard to hike 22km in a country only 2.02 km² in size. Whilst… spending €10 a day, for which you can hardly fart in this land of the lavish. After being picked up on a scooterbike by Couchsurfing host Simon, a breezy Italian who could manage to shove more words in one breath than I saw a single gossipy female ever do, I installed myself in my free accommodation and set out to explore without a plan.

And oh oh, what spied my little eye? Let me share the jays and nays, for everyone’s convenience:

Me likes…

Monaco is a monarchy. On the seat if this modest little kingdom sits the sovereign prince, or cockier: ‘His Serene Highness’, which is currently Albert II. Unlike the often symbolic a.k.a. pointless role of any royal family (just like in my homeland The Netherlands), the Monacan monarch in fact plays an active part in the country’s daily politics, retaining both the executive and legislative power by the means of co-creation and veto. For this he receives the modest yearly sum of €43.5 million… but hold your horses before instantly sending in your C.V.: Only members of the Grimaldi Family, Europe’s longest-ruling royal family, are able to apply for the position. You also need to possess a penis. What you can do, however, is visit the Prince’s Palace on the Place du Palais, decoratively guarded by the Palace Guards or the ‘Carabinieri’. The ceremonial changing of the guard takes place daily at 11:55 AM. While there, you might as well pop around the corner to check out the Cathedrale Notre Dame Immaculee, which is not only a rather good-looking church, but also the burial place for a bunch of dead Grimaldi’s, including Monaco’s longest-ruling leader Rainier III and his filmstar wife Grace Kelly.

If you’re a die-hard fan, you can also visit churches such as St. Paul’s Angelican Church, St. Charles Church and the Chapelle Sainte Devote… but I personally don’t see the need.

As Monaco is a coastal destination, a seaside stroll is a pure requirement of your visit. Hard to avoid it, to be frank, as the country is basically entirely smeared out along the shore. You’ll promptly notice that, besides the pleasant Larvotto Beach, almost all the space is taken by upclass ports harbouring endless sequences of yachts I couldn’t even afford after selling both kidneys. The reason I in fact enjoyed the Monte Carlo Harbor, Port de Fontvieille and Port Hercule can be found in the origin of a large percentage of these boats: my former temporary homebase Malta. I’m pretty solid I actually saw some of them when I still lived there. Sweet nostalgia, slap me in the face! Another quirky shore observation: I witnessed some of my fellow Dutchies working up a sweat trying to expand those 2.02 square kilometres of land into the Mediterranean by the mandate of former Prince Rainier III. This so-called ‘polder technique’ of land reclamation we previously applied on our province of Flevoland (which did not exist when I was born), as well as on the famous Palm Islands of Dubai.

Museum-wise, you came to the right country, as never ever have I seen such a dense collection on an equally dense land. The variety can be appreciated, ranging from the renowned Oceanographic Museum of Monaco, The Private Collection of Antique Cars of H.S.H. Prince Rainier III to the Musée d’Anthropologie Prehistorique and the Nouveau Musée National de Monaco. If it’s pissing rain you might even want to step into the Stamps and Money Museum, go nuts, who’s stopping you?

Nah, you’re good…

As is to be expected, with a population of almost 36,700 people on this miniature patch of land, many living in needlessly oversized houses, it is hard to take any natural space into account. The Monacans sure as hell tried though! Teeny weeny, carefully planned parks such as the Jardin du Casino, Les Jardins Saint Martin et Sainte Barbe and the Jardin Exotique (paid) are scattered all over the kingdom. And somehow a Japanese Garden… can someone please tell me why all rich destinations somehow go hard on Japanese Gardens? There is obviously nothing wrong with any of those parks, I applaud green spaces… however, anyone who has ever seen a random park in their lifetime has absolutely no reason to go out of their way to see this ‘miraculous sight.’

What is very unique to Monaco is of course the Circuit. The streets of Monaco form the racetrack of the world’s most prestigious and well-known Formula One event, held yearly since 1929. However thrilled I was to drive the feared and celebrated curves of this course (on a zooming little motorbike), I felt like more could be done to commemorate it. The Grand Prix Historique is a hardly noticeable starting point and the Champions Promenade (a ‘walk of fame’ with the hand and foot prints of some of the F1 champions) forms a tiny stretch of an otherwise rather normal shopping street. Enthusiasts have the opportunity to visit the Juan Manual Fangio Memorial, dedicated to one of the globe's most glorious racers, but that’s about it. What’s left to do is join the hordes of teenage boys posting on every street corner to snap some cheeky phone shots of the extravagant vehicles sliding through Monaco’s daily life with that pure objective: to be seen.

The last ‘nah, you’re good’ is a purely personal one: Casino de Monte Carlo. I simply do not understand the attraction of the act of gambling, as there is clearly only one winner: the casino itself. This budget backpacker experiences zero elements of fun in throwing money around… that, in fact, is an activity that hurts my frugal soul to its very core. Don’t mind me though, I am just not Monaco’s target group, I am just a simple baffled spectator. If a well-meant throw in the roulette or a sassy lil’ game of blackjack spikes your adrenaline levels, Monaco will gladly cater to your needs. For the cheapskates among us: you can also go into the building and just watch others blow their dough, wink-wink.

In The Area

Alright, I am here crowning myself the one and only hiking wizard for walking 22k in 2.02 km² Monaco… but the truth is that I accidentally stepped out of the country several times, without even noticing. The border runs right through the city center, without being formally indicated. The Beausoleil area where most working class residents live is in fact part of France and so is the scenic Cap Martin. The good (and simultaneously bad) news is, is that the surrounding French area forming part of the illustrious Côte d’Azur is actually much more beautiful than the little stretch of Monaco. These areas contain less people, so there’s less need to plan and develop. As such, random villages organically crawl up the shores, allowing for a calmer and more idyllic scenery. A perfect example of this is the adorable little cliff settlement of Eze, a tourist favorite only a stone’s throw away from breezy Nice, another loud and clear YES on the must-visit list.

Read more about Nice and Eze in this article.

Quick Budget Fact Overview

Monaco Facts

Capital: Monaco
Language: French
Population: ± 36,700
Sq km: ± 2.02 km²
Currency: Euro (€ - EUR)
Electricity Outlet: E & F / 230 V / 50 Hz. Check here. https://www.power-plugs-sockets.com/monaco/
Country Code Phone: +377
Emergency Phone: 112 (general), 18 (ambulance), 18 (fire), 17 (police)
Visa: Monaco is a part of the EU Customs Territory and located within the external borders of the Schengen area. Find more info about Schengen visas here. Easy applications can be arranged via here.
Vaccinations: None
Climate: Temperate Meditteranean (Csb)
High season: Summer & during the Grand Prix (May)

Short History Recap

1297: Grimaldi family (Genoa) seizes the fortress of the incumbent Genoese rulers of Monaco. Late 1400s: Monaco's sovereignty recognised. 1524-1641: Grimaldis allies with Spain (Spanish protection). 1793: - French Revolution - Grimaldis deposed → unification with France. 1814: Monaco returned to the Grimaldis & Sardinian protectorate until ‘60. ‘61: Independence restored under the Franco-Monegasque treaty. 1911: First constitution. ‘29: First Monaco Grand Prix. ’49: Death of Louis II; Prince Rainier III succeeds, marries Hollywood actress Grace Kelly. ’59: Prince suspends Monaco's elected National Council because budget quarrel. Reintroduced in ’62, replaced with more liberal constitution. ’93: Joins UN. 2004: OECD places Monaco on blacklist of uncooperative tax havens (until 2009). ’05: Prince Rainier dies → Prince Albert. environmental concerns. ’16: EU and Monaco sign tax transparency agreement.

FREE Sights / Activities

Sights: Monte Carlo Casino (main hall free), Casino Square, Japanese Garden, Palace Guards, Monte Carlo Harbor, Port de Fontvieille, Port Hercule, Place du Palais (palace square), Cathedrale Notre Dame Immaculee, St. Paul’s Angelican Church, St. Charles Church, Chapelle Sainte Devote, Juan Manual Fangio Memorial, Champions Promenade, Palais de Justice de Monaco, Marche de la Condamine.
Parks: Jardin du Casino, Les Jardins Saint Martin et Sainte Barbe.
Beaches: Larvotto Beach.

PAID Sights / Activities

Sights: Prince’s Palace.
Museums: Oceanographic Museum of Monaco, The Private Collection of Antique Cars of H.S:H. Prince Rainier III, Musee d’Anthropologie Prehistorique, Nouveau Musee National de Monaco, Stamps and Money Museum.
Nature: Jardin Exotique de Monaco.
Other: Grand Prix Historique, Stade Nautique Rainier III (stadium / swimming pool), Thermes Marins Monte Carlo, Odean Spa, Heli Air Monaco.

Evening Entertainment

Nightlife Areas: Most bars and clubs are situated along the coastline. Famous spots include Jimmy’z, Twiga, Buddha Bar, Coya, Amber Lounge, Living Room and La Racasse. Lots is also going on in the various casinos.

Theatres: Opera de Monte Carlo, Grimaldi Forum, Fort Antoine Theatre, Theatre des Muses.

Local Festivals

Monaco Run – February
Festival International du Cirque de Monte Carlo – April
Spring Arts Festival - April
Grand Prix – May
Monaco Music Film Festival – May
Monte Carlo International Fireworks Festival – July / August
Monaco Yacht Show – September
Monaco International Marathon - November

Budget Bites

Supermarkets: It is best to buy your groceries just outside of Monaco, just hop a few meters into France to find much cheaper prices. Supermarkets include Carrefour City, Casino Supermarket, U Market, Intermarket and Spar.
Local Dishes: Barbujuan (swiss chard fritter), Bouillabaisse (seafood soup), Daube (beef stew), Pissaladiere (anchovy flatbread), Socca (chickpea crepes).
The Veg Situation: Going veg is not so complicated in Monaco, as being vegan is fancy, matching Monaco-style. A veg restaurant guide can be found here. Local veg dishes (description above – some vegan, some contain cheese or egg): Barbujuan, Socca.
National Drink: Monaco Spritz, Champagne.

Sleep Cheap

Hostels / Hotels: Monaco is a very expensive destination, and you are likely to find more affordable deals on the French side. Without being paid to say so, I love Booking.com: They have the biggest selection, are transparent about the final price and have an efficient search engine tailored to your specific needs (cheapest first!). If you use it often enough, Genius-discounts are applied. Agoda is often not transparent about prices, adding a lot of additional costs in the last booking-step. Opodo is another decent option. Air BnB is not what it used to be, price-wise, and seem to focus on the more upscale boutique stays nowadays. Writer’s choice: I Couchsurfed.
Couchsurfing: allows you to stay with locals. Nowadays it has a moderate sign-up cost (unless you put a third-world country as homebase), but paying extra for verification is unnecessary: Positive reviews are way more important. Once active, there are no costs for staying at someone’s house. In order to get accepted, make sure to write an elaborate review explaining why you applied to this specific profile and think you and your host are a good match (copy-pastes tend to be ignored). The Couchsurfing community in Monaco isn’t overwhelmingly big, but it is existent.
Housesitting: is an amazing exchange allowing you to stay short- or long-term in somebody’s house, while looking after their house and pets. There are many different websites, most of them paid… but once you landed a sit, the subscription fee is pays itself back quickly. The main housesitting site is Trusted Housesitters.
Wild Camping: is close to impossible in Monaco, as there is simply no space to hide. The Parking des Abeilles offers (paid) parking for vans without facilities.

Mama Said

Safety: Monaco has a very low crime rate, if you exclude tax fraud.
Tap Water: is drinkable.
Ethics: Boycott zoos like the Zoological Gardens (Jardin des Animalier) where animals are held in captivity out of their natural habitat.
The best credit/debit card for traveling is Wise, as they use the live conversion rates with minimal exchange fees. Wise also has the lowest fees for sending money to foreign accounts. Revolut is comparable, but they have higher exchange fees in the weekend and less wallet-options. Also, you can only wire money to Revolut in the currency you opened the account with, whereas Wise has IBAN’s from a wide variety of currencies, so you don’t have to pay a double exchange fee.
Simcard: Try to avoid buying a Monacan sim, as this is gonna cost you. A French prepaid sim can be bought in any phone store in for example Nice, which will also work in Monaco and will cost you only a fraction of the price.

Transport

Walking: With 2.02km² Monaco is extremely walkable.
Cycling: With 2.02km² Monaco is also extremely cyclable.
City Buses / Tram / Metro: Monaco is served by city buses, operating between 7AM and 9:30PM. A ticket can be bought on buses, from the various ticket machines and online. More info here.
Taxi / Uber: Uber is banned in Monaco, but local taxis are available… obviously, for a price.
Intercity Buses: In order to get around, it is recommended to take a local bus (#601, #607 or #6902) or train towards Nice, from where you can connect with various French and international destinations.
Train: Monaco is served by a train station. More info on SNCF Connect.
Car Rental: Is expensive and rather unnecessary in this small country. However, if you are interested, Nice Airport would offer the most affordable options.
Airport: Nice Côte d'Azur Airport (NCE; LFMN).
Hitchhiking: Monaco consists of a few streets. Hitchhiking won’t be necessary. However, hitchhiking to and from Monaco is definitely an option.

Next?

International Destinations Close By: France, Italy, Switzerland.

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